So many things to say

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So that picture is trending on twitter and facebook is blowing up with the usual mix of righteous indignation and nastiness. I have been accused of defending everyone but hey… I was born this way. 

So before you go all “you are a murderer and an evil witch” and aim your flaming torch and pitchfork try put yourself in Jackline’s shoes. Now I have never met Jackline but she seems like a nice enough lady and note that that child looks healthy, well fed, dressed and doesn’t look like she has been abused. That child is well taken care of. Feel free to compare your child and that one if you have children.You can take your self-righteousness next door and note the neighbour’s kids are well in ‘rags’. We are human after all. That girl looks happy. We all go aww! looking at those pictures.

Our anger might be because of this.Such a lovely child does not deserve the murderous intentions of the mother. But where is she coming from? I know children are more important than men or women. But be honest, you single guy with the good genes, job and average personality do you date women with children? Granted the men around me maybe flawed but how many times have you lost interest in a person because they said they have a child? 

Horrible Exs

Think, Jackline did have this child with a man like you. She was honoured by this guy and fate to take care of the child they made. She may have been rejected by men because she had this child. She has watched the father of this child marry and be happy. She may not miss him but she wants to be with someone too. She wants to share the trials and triumphs of raising a child with someone but the men around her want a woman who is ‘free’. 

Society

We have been around for a long time but our beliefs and values have not changed. Society looks at a married woman with more respect or well something similar… (oh please! Come off it. You know I am right) . That is why you are dating that harpless drunk who comes home at two and calls you names. Society expects women to be married. To be attached to men. You have often said to your friends, ‘She is unmarried and 35 something is wrong with her’. Society is constantly telling the female that to be respected she must attach herself to a man and even lease a name. 

Picture Jackline who feels she has no hope of getting this esteemed status. Picture the women at her church sneer and whisper. Picture her attraction to Brother Jeroboam and his righteous NO and his open scorn for her “childfulness”. Remember the last time you were rejected, now imagine it was because of your lovely baby girl. Whose father left you in the worst way and married Sister Ruth in church. Imagine what that feels like. Picture the women whisper and sneer one more time. Don’t tell me how people don’t move you. Even Iron Man would feel something. 

Different pain thresholds

Now, that child is not a week old, she has been taking care of her. She may have got to her limit. She is tired of the constant rejection, the loneliness and the fact that society looks down on her because she fell in love with the wrong man. Because she believed the nice things he said were true. Her hopes for love are dashed every single time because men who have fathered children far and wide don’t date ‘Mama za watu’.

I am not defending killing your child because a man said no to you. No! But could you stop threatening Jackline. Sure issuing a threat like that is wrong but have you considered that this is a sign of a big problem in Jackline’s mind, our women’s minds and the society at large. If you had Jackline’s mindset, her outlook as regards life trust me you might threaten worse. Raising a child is hard, being looked down on for said child is makes it harder, have a little compassion. If you can send help please do.

Mother’s advice

Jackline a man cannot make your life better. You can make your life better, you can live a good life without the affections of a man. It doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt to be alone but you need to choose to not be lonely. Find fulfilment in yourself and you will find someone who appreciates that you are happy with where fate and destiny has placed you.

My dear man try date outside your comfort zone you might find that, that one woman who has a child appreciates Man United and the Beautiful game as much as you do.

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Thanks to 123rf for above picture.