I dont get men these days. Well maybe am a little old fashioned and expect Mr. Darcy or Kamankura (long story google). See there are things I expect a man to know way before he looks in my direction, stops his cement laden automobile and opens his mouth.

1. Have something to say outside of a generic compliment. “You are so beautiful, how have I  not seen you before” ok person have you seen/ met everyone in this town? And anyway how is that my business? Plus am not unwilling to take it with grace but why do you keep mentioning my beauty like I told you I dont have a mirror. Once is enough, who you have met or haven’t doesn’t matter.

2. So anyway you somehow get my number lets not talk about how. You TEXT to ask me to go out with you and I graciously say that am busy. Why are you asking what it is am doing? How is that your business? Have you considered am being polite and your questions are causing the demons within to rise? Or are you looking for reasons to call me a gold-digging slut because when I start I will insult the quality automobile and your manhood.

3. Staying with the number. If I didn’t give it to you and you got it off the internet, a friend gave it to you, you did something that could get you labeled psycho, if I ask tell me. Dont be coy, dont pretend we met when I don’t know who you are. You come off as creepy and weird.

4. You know I live alone. Good sleuthing skills Sherlock. Don’t come to my house at night or threaten to come to my house AT NIGHT. Even if it is to make me dinner, in my mind I see and hear is Hannibal Lecter is in a giving mood. I dont let people I know into my house at night and you some stranger with a knife sorry an axe (in my head) want to show up.

5. So we are having coffee. Awesome you got this far. Lets talk politics, Jesus, your ex-girlfriend (she sounds like a Slut) {I know am quoting a country song sue me… :/ please dont}  but don’t bring up your feelings and insist I share them. “Karrymi you love me/ you will love me!” Ask anyone that’s terrifying.


Help ! I cant get out.

5. Don’t use money to entice me. I have a mind of my own. Yes I need money for shoes, maybe I don’t have supper from your assessment but dont insult me by offering me money. Or making declarations like “I must teach you to drive, so you can drive my other car”. So since am walking home you take that I can’t drive and that I will follow you to hell and back because you dangled car keys in my face. Do I look retarded? What makes you think I can’t drive? Fact that am walking? I didn’t know those were mutually exclusive.
If the only good thing in your life that can get you my undivided attention is your money then try use it better, maybe by buying some new clothes and shoes.

I think I made my point women don’t want perfect men they want men.


About karrymi

Life is about faith, I have faith, that something good is going to happen. Also cowboys and country songs make me wanna be in love, and sit on some old truck and watch the stars play my favourite song...
This entry was posted in Lifestyle, Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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