Transformation From Within

Image result for 40 under 40 forbes

Today I read Victor Mamora’s piece in the Forbes Africa Magazine, the march issue where he discusses the direction that the African Corporate needs to take in order to continue effectively competing with the world and of course remaining profitable. He argues for the benefits of focusing on problem solving in order to solve problems of humanity and make better profits. It is these ideas that he expresses that I feel can be applied to our own individual lives.

Victor Mamora  says something that resonated with me in a big way. He points out and I quote “…an entrepreneur will not take on activities on the outside that he or she is not capable of on the inside.” What one has the capacity to do is more important than the size of the problem. The willingness not to give up in the face of failure is more important than the amount of money another can throw at a problem. If you do not have the willpower to keep going, if you do not have the faith that your business will succeed, if you lack drive or passion you are very likely to fail because you can only do without what you can do within.

This got me thinking about my approach to life lately and my behavior over the last five years. I have never really been very far from home. I am terrified of moving to a big city because all those hungry people sitting in the streets terrify me. I am afraid of becoming one of them. I don’t want to be in a strange place where no one is friendly. If you read “I Speak for the Bush” you will get where I am coming from. There is a running joke in my place of work that every end of year I swear I am leaving and go back the next year swearing I will not last the year.

I teach, I am very good at it or at least with the children. I am experienced and think i have seen and survived the worst a teenager can throw at me. If I think about it I have become that person from 10years ago wanted to be but the problem is I still don’t feel good enough. I often say I am not afraid of work and I am not. People say I am smart, sharp even but I don’t believe that. I think they probably have never met smart, they should know my sisters or other smart people. And they haven’t seen my KCSE certificate which has spoken volumes to many people.

Like Forbes, Victor Mamora says, I want to change my inside so that I can achieve outside. I want to be a better problem solver but I need to change what I consider my abilities to be. Do you share this feeling? Come on this journey with me, let’s try to remodel our insides so we can try for that management position and get paid enough to buy  some Jimmy Choos.

Aren’t you weary of all those Chinese characters in your shoes that you can’t brag about?

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My Dream Man

All my life I have been the kind of girl who wanted to have that man who would turn heads. You know the kind that everyone wants but can’t have coz he is all mine. Truth is that’s all any girl wants. But this is about me so lets pretend I am the only one who wants a tall, gorgeous man who commands respect in his peers but would do anything to make sure I am ok. You know sort of like this

actually now that you ask, Khal Drogo, I do!

Ok maybe not like that, more like,

Khal Drogo  queen daeneys husband


He can call me moon of his life or such other things and put on a shirt sometimes…

Hello I’m Carl, I’m gay

Problem is you never really get to meet such a guy because if you find one with those attributes he is either taken or gay. If he is single he either has a psychological problem or an ego the size of the Rift Valley. Maybe someone broke his heart and he is too terrified of a repeat or he is far too busy showing is freshly polished 3D joystick and doesn’t realize everyone in town has seen it. Point is you cannot make him trust your loyalty or be loyal.

Of Thomas Hardy and Tess

Thomas Hardy says that when the one to love shows up it is not yet time to love and when it is time to love the wrong man shows up. If you could see the future maybe you would choose differently so that you love the right person at the right time. I have said on this before, women want security. There are those things that have terrified me in the past and I want a future where those things I know are scary don’t keep happening to me. I mean what happened to the men who were not afraid of the dark behind whom you could hide. With whom you knew you were safe. These days they want to go ask their mothers for permission to have coffee with you because you put on extra eyeliner that one Friday.

Master of his destiny 

He doesn’t have to have a kingdom or an army just strength of character and of the mind. A man to whom I can submit myself to without the fear that he will abuse my trust and submission. I need to know if I let him be the head of the house, basically think for me, that I will be fine. That he truly knows best. So that when he calls me a good girl it feels like a hug and not an insult to my womanhood. Sort of like this…

2,482 Me gusta, 26 comentarios - Emilia Clarke (@emiliaclarkelive) en Instagram: "Good girl "


*I got the pictures on Pinterest and everyone should see Aquaman and GoT.


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My Neighbour and I

I am worried about my neighbor. I am worried in the way neighbors are worried about each other. Selfishly, very selfishly. See this person has had a riches to not exactly rugs just more like t-shirts with average size holes in them. He used to be a ladies’ man. You know the kind that loves them then leaves them without a backward glance, rides on to the next conquest like Don Quixote on Rocinante. On ward mighty stead! Unlike Don Quixote he had many sidekicks that left around the time he lost the horse. He can no longer have them over for parties or treat them to a night of reverie at the local ‘Hilton’. Do they have reverie at the Hilton? It has always sounded too stiff upper lip for the images that word conjures.

Anyway, back to my neighbor. Having lost the horse and the sidekicks and the side-sidekicks he went through all the stages of grief. Yes, I have a window and I am nosy. So he tried to pretend he wasn’t facing tough times, he grew out his beard and put on ratty t-shirts for a while, then he disappeared into his house for a month and then he was back to his usual self. The beard was the highlight of his entire grief for me. If you have met me you know I am a facial hair enthusiast. Handlebar moustache *fans self* oh babe.

I said I was worried. See lately my neighbor has gone back to the ratty t-shirts. They have holes and might be abit unwashed but don’t trust me on that I haven’t cleaned my window properly either. Now, his buddies keep knocking on his door and shouting his name and he won’t let them in. The other day he was trying to get into some ladies place. It is probable it was innocent but then he could have called instead of trying to sneak in.

What if he comes to my house next? I have this steak knife that is my whole security system and I am always losing it. What if all the single girls move away and families move in? I don’t want to move. Not because I don’t like children playing outside at 7 on Saturday morning but I don’t want to feel like the INVENTOR OF SINGLE.

PS: If you are in Kenya and have a position for Political Science graduate, tell me about it.

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Of Cavemen and Cavewomen


So Caveman Dave is walking around, thinking some manly thoughts when he sees a pretty cavelady. She is all curves as far as the eye can see which is as far the frumpy but warm mammoth skin garment. She has got a pretty smile, and teeth being part of a beautiful smile is propaganda to keep Colgate in business. Back to Caveman Dave, he is smitten and nothing would be better than to learn Cavelady Rose’s beauty secrets.

The biggest question he needs to answer as he stares dazedly is “what do cavewomen want?” A question his father and grandfather never had to ask. In the good old days you just hit your lady love on the head with your knobkerrie and drag her into your cave and voila WIFE or other caveman need. In his time things have changed and women have rights and it’s now illegal to boink them on the head and carry them to your cave. So how does he get what he wants? Like in the Godfather he needs to make her an offer she can’t refuse.

I often feel women want security. Oh they may talk about honest, truth and justice. In truth they want to feel safe. They want to know that you will not lie and play games and cause hurt. They want to know that you can be relied on to be strong for them however scary the situation.  Truth be told they also want to be provided for. No wonder in certain places dowry is supposed to be a sign of the husband’s ability to feed their daughter. Think about it every wife or even girlfriend will say when threatened or insecure will say that it would not have happened if the husband/boyfriend had been around. So in my opinion Caveman Dave need only offer Cavelady Rose security. She must know she is safe with him, however untrue that maybe.

Now please tell me what men want because Google isn’t helping one bit.

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Carpe Diem


vlcsnap-2017-02-26-16h59m30s112 (2)People are always saying “Life is short” and “Live like you will die tomorrow”. I am not criticizing it is important to live life to the fullest. Seize the day, seize the night… Not postpone anything because you will miss out on life. The problem is when you use that as an excuse to do things without putting enough thought into them.

I feel that seizing the day should mean that we live a life with meaning. When I am 70 I want to look back and think I touched someone’s life somehow, you know? I want to feel fulfilled. I don’t want to look at young people with hatred and resentment because I am jealous of the time they still have to live. I don’t want to waste it defying norms for nothing more than proving that it is within my power to defy. I want to spend it living.

One cannot enjoy life if they are constantly asking for permission. It is unhealthy to constantly want to have someone tell you what to do. I am not saying that you shouldn’t obey the laws of God and those of men. The point I want to make is we all need to choose to live a certain way and not worry that it will make us stick out. Why should you be unhappy just so that you can blend in? Why should you live your life constantly trying to disappear even in your very unusual crowd of one?

God made you as he did not so that you can constantly try to be like Chris or Angela. He didn’t make a mistake when he made you short or dark skinned. So your smile creeps people out, is that reason enough not smile when you want to? Stop worrying so much about making other people comfortable that you forget you need to be comfortable too.

It is very easy to guilt me. A lot of the time I have to remind myself that it doesn’t matter how nice I am someone somewhere will get offended. I can’t protect everyone’s feelings, we are different and what I think is ok is not ok with quite a number of the people I know.

Choose to live a certain way and don’t apologize for it. Seize the opportunity that life gives to do that which your heart desires, to reach for your dreams. Don’t waste time trying to show people that you don’t care about the rules or apologizing for breaking said rules. In the end the only person that matters is you. Will you be satisfied with the life you will have lived?

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My TV Watching Family

I was watching TV the other day and this guy says he wants a family to watch TV with. At first it seems like something silly to say. Family means responsibility, work, patience and a whole lot of stuff that is not as fun as just watching your favourite shows alone. But in truth we all need people we can share the little things in life.

It is the reason why I also decided that I want a family to watch TV with. I want a family to share my favourite shows with. Even with our different likes we will still sit and enjoy the shows that makes each of us laugh. We will watch football, soap operas and even Disney cartoons. We will criticize, laugh at each other and celebrate because while watching TV we grow closer.

I want a family to choose what movie we will watch Friday night.  Children who want to watch Frozen and a husband listing the lessons they would learn from watching The Expendables.  We shall all probably watch Frozen because we have seen the Muppet movie too many times and all that Christmas knife throwing is not children appropriate.

I want a family to share the remote with. We all know that share will mean fight over.  People I can blame when it is lost. People I can order to switch to my favourite show because well I am the mum. I would like a husband to make tea for while he catches up on the news of the day. Children I can convince to eat their four o’clock porridge so that they can see Jake beat up Captain Hook.

Family is not easy. All those different people having the worst day ever can drive anyone crazy. All that frustration can result in painful things being said. I want a family I can just sit with in front of the TV saying nothing but sure that we will never be alone no matter how bad the circumstances.

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